Chewed Up and Spit Out
by thebigianthead
Summary: This story has been suspended for now. I hope to get it rewritten sometime in the future and I apologize to those of you who read it and liked it and put it on alert, and especially to you who reviewed.
1. Chapter 1

This takes place shortly after EJ Barrett and her team arrived from Rota, Spain. This fictional story contains a description of not too graphic violence, some mild profanity and a mention of sex. Rated T just in case. While this is primarily a NCIS story, it will become a crossover in the fourth or fifth or sixth? chapter. It kind of depends on how I break them up.

Disclaimer: The normal one. Somebody else owns everything and I'm not getting anything.

NCIS ~ ~ NCIS ~ ~ ~ NCIS ~ ~ ~ ~ NCIS~~~~~NCIS

"We have lots of lovely paperwork all afternoon, Ziva. Don't be late." Tony loved to tease the female member of the team and smiled broadly as without a word she turned abruptly and sauntered off to go people watching along M Street on her way back to work.

Ducky bit on the last bit of sandwich in his hand, absently shaking his head a little at the other agent's antics. Tony had spent the last 10 minutes belittling his fellow team members, something he so enjoyed doing, and downing his big lunch at the same time. Nobody could argue that the man didn't have a good appetite and while he was heavier than in his college days, he did manage to keep himself in pretty good shape.

The ME just wished that DiNozzo wouldn't speak with his mouth full, but if Kate couldn't ever break of him of the habit then he was sure Timothy and Ziva would not be successful either. As for he himself saying something, well, he knew which battles to fight and which ones to leave alone.

Ducky watched DiNozzo for a few seconds, noticing not for the first time the way the man hid his own troubles. Not many knew about the verbal altercation DiNozzo had had with the Director or how he'd fled to the gym to work off his anger, but Ducky knew because he'd treated the man's scuffed knuckles and wounded ego. Vance hadn't been happy with his budding relationship with Special Agent EJ Barrett, but neither Ducky nor Tony knew exactly why it was such a problem. Yea, he'd broken rule #12, but it was a Gibbs rule and not a DiNozzo rule and they were not on the same team so it didn't apply anyway, not really. So in a nutshell they weren't on the same team, they were both unmarried adults and they'd not missed a single day of work.

One thing Tony hadn't done was ask Vance how he knew about the relationship. It wasn't that he didn't want to know because he did. In fact he suspected the man had audio and video surveillance everywhere. Informants and secret spies too. Ducky though suspected Vance's attitude had to do with Tony's job performance and his desire to head a team of his own. Not that he hadn't had a chance to do just that, but he ended up turning down the Rota assignment that EJ eventually accepted. In doing that Tony forfeited his chance, at least for a while.

The team at the Navy Yard had been his for over four months and he'd done very well. Sure there had been some missteps and a few rocky moments with Ziva and McGee, but they'd made it through. He's made it through. He'd closed some cases and they'd all testified in court and all had been right with the world. Okay, not great, but right didn't have to be great. Right could be okay. Right could be that everyone left for the weekend satisfied that they'd done a good job and put a few bad guys behind bars. Then Ziva got in trouble and he started doubting things. Ziva doubted things. McGee doubted things. Abby doubted things. Maybe everything wasn't right with the world. In fact nothing had been right after that.

Oh yea, he'd been surprised when Gibbs not only came back, but that Jenny Shepard had let him come back and the bottom line was that he harbored unresolved resentment toward both Jenny and Gibbs, even all this time after Jenny's death. And yea, he did and always would feel a little guilty about that.

But back to when Jenny was still alive. Offered the Rota job, he'd considered and dismissed the idea thinking that Gibbs would never be 100%, would have to retire again and then the position would be his... again. But no, Gibbs was as good as ever, better in some ways and both McGee and Ziva had been thrilled to have him back. Ecstatic even. Another slap in Tony's face and he hadn't exactly regretted turning down Rota, but after Jenny was killed he did have doubts about his place in the NCIS world of Leon Vance. And only knowing that Gibbs would have to give up his field position when he turned 55 had kept Tony from requesting a transfer to someplace else.

Then EJ had shown up and Tony got a little bit of delight from her antics with Gibbs and Vance giving her the lead position in the hunt for the port-to-port killer. And to top it off she was attractive and attracted to him and Tony had not hesitated to bed her. Did he do it because he was attracted to her too? Did he do it to get back at Gibbs? Did he do it because he knew Vance would be pissed? Did he do it because in the back of his mind he hoped it would somehow tarnish her career? She was younger than him. She was a team leader. She was heading up a major investigation. And even though she had stood up to Gibbs, had she shown her best judgment when she had slept with him? Did he want to knock her off her game and then Vance would see that she wasn't so great and he could be a team leader in parallel to Gibbs, McGee and Ziva? No, Tony never thought that far ahead.

As for good judgment, Vance didn't think DiNozzo had shown any, but as far as Tony knew the director hadn't confronted EJ, only him. He called his judgment into question and brought up many of the questionable decisions Tony had made over the years and there were plenty. He reminded Vance that he'd taken over the team in the absence of Gibbs and had then been offered his own team, the Rota team. Vance told him that as long as he was Director that it would be a cold day in hell before Tony would get a team of his own or an undercover assignment. Tony had stormed out to lick his wounds, going first to the gym and then to visit Ducky where he'd spilled his guts.

Later in the week while EJ slept, Tony had ground his fist into the sheet covered mattress and thought about how to get around Vance since he couldn't go through him. The man and Gibbs weren't on the best of terms though over the years they had had their moments, but Tony wasn't on the best of terms with Gibbs either at the moment in time and he still resented him coming back from Mexico. It was something that he knew would be with him always and he just tried every day to keep it from interfering with his job. The SecNav was not only their boss, but he and Vance were friends so going directly to him wouldn't work and Tony could only hope that sometime in the near future either Vance or the SecNav would move on to a different position. Or retire and be gone for good. At least then he'd have a new person to approach about a team leader position or a solo assignment or another undercover gig, hopefully with a beautiful woman.

EJ had stirred in her sleep at that moment and Tony had spooned behind her pushing all other thoughts and feelings out of his mind. Sex was a good temporary substitute for almost everything that ever ailed Tony DiNozzo. When he couldn't have sex food helped too.

End of part 1

* * *

><p>Thank you for reading.<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

Part 2

The noon hour, which in real life was actually a three to three and a half hour window, meant lots and lots of both foot traffic and car traffic as people ate lunch or got takeout at the local establishments, ran errands or just walked around or drove around. The weather this day was beautiful and fairly warm with a few high clouds against a brilliant blue sky and it had brought out many more people than usual for a muggy day in the middle of July.

DiNozzo had been suffering from cabin fever and thought getting out would help so he'd invited Ziva David to lunch at the corner deli, promising her that the menu had been changed and the servers replaced. She'd happily accepted and Tony was thrilled with the prospect of a private lunch with the still exotic former Mossad officer.

Ziva, after agreeing to lunch and wanting to share such a beautiful day, had then invited her good natured teammate, Timothy McGee. She knew Tony wouldn't be happy about it and it was one of the reasons why she did it. Tony had been acting weird ever since EJ Barrett and her team had showed up. Gibbs too hadn't been the same either, but Ziva suspected it was for very different reasons. Her Tony was attracted to EJ and even though Ziva and Tony weren't intimate, Ziva wasn't thrilled with Tony being intimate with anyone else. To keep the subject of EJ from getting too far into any conversation, Ziva decided McGee would be the perfect person to ahve along with her and Tony.

Tim had a sneaky suspicion that lunch would be with someone other than just Ziva, but didn't mind as long as he could bring along his favorite lunch person. He readily accepted Ziva's offer without mentioning his plan to invite someone else and headed for the forensics lab. A meal with Abby Sciuto was always a treat and he already knew that she didn't have plans and she didn't have any pressing work that couldn't wait until after lunch. He just needed to make sure that she did not do what he was doing, which was invite another person along to lunch. And why not? Because he knew it would be Cade or Levin, the new guys to the squad room. The news guys, who along with their team leader Erica Jane Barrett, had brought tension to the Navy Yard and McGee wasn't liking what their presence had done to his perfect little world. And to make matters worse, Abby had welcomed them with open arms and continually sang their praises. The two men were hunks. The two men were teddy bears. The two men were misunderstood. They were soooo nice. They were such good listeners. Crap! Tim didn't want to hear anymore about those guys and went to find them to make sure they were busy for lunch.

And as he headed for Abby's lab he smiled because he'd just found out that EJ and her men were out of the building. Yes!

Abby, who liked to eat lunch with Tim, also liked to spend time with her new friends. But alas, Cade and Levin were out of the building with EJ, their team leader. She thought it was probably a good thing since Gibbs hadn't been too happy lately. As for the others, they seemed to follow his lead and weren't too happy either. Except Tony and Tony wasn't not happy, he was weird and Abby suspected it was EJ's fault. But she didn't have facts and scientists needed facts to draw conclusions so she'd wait and get those facts from Cade and Levin. Now if she couldn't have lunch with them, and lunch with Tim was excellent, but maybe she'd invite someone else to come along. Ziva? Maybe. Tony? Maybe. Wait, she knew who to ask. It was perfect. She'd ask her favorite medical examiner. She knew that he'd been cooped up in autopsy since early morning and needed a break so after Tim left to go back to the 3rd floor she went to talk to Dr. Donald "Ducky" Mallard.

Ducky had been thrilled with the invitation, but suspected that lunch would be with more than just Abigail. In fact he hoped it would be with at least one other person because Abby was always so bubbly and high spirited and tended to go off on verbal tangents that made his head spin sometimes. Yea, lunch with Abby could be an adventure alright. Wait, Mr. Palmer could use a break too and he got on famously with the forensic scientist. At least then Ducky could be certain that there would be someone else with them.

Jimmy had other plans already and turned down Ducky's invite, but that was how the five people ended up eating lunch together at the corner deli. Tony invited Ziva who invited Tim who invited Abby who invited Ducky. Nobody thought about inviting Gibbs and nobody mentioned that fact. When they all showed up in the squad room at 11:55, Tony had glared at Ziva who smiled back and then locked arms with Tim to head to the elevator. Abby had taken Ducky's arm and followed leaving DiNozzo to wonder what had happened to his intimate lunch plan.

The deli had been redone a little with fresh white paint on most of the walls and new used chairs made of wood instead of plastic. The order counter had a new shiny covering and the big menu board was printed in English though some of the selections still seemed questionable if not odd. Ducky would have preferred they all eat at the café down the block, but he knew that the others didn't want to spend a few more dollars and since Tony had started the lunch get-together, the place had been his choice.

The covered table on the outside patio had been nice, especially on such a muggy though still lovely day, so he had been okay with the choice, even though they wouldn't have real plates, glasses or cutlery. He hoped that maybe Jethro would like to eat at the café or maybe the coffee shop between the bank and the dry cleaner later in the week, assuming the team wasn't called out on a case during the noon meal time. Or maybe he'd just ask Jimmy since the young man hadn't been with them this day.

Apart from DiNozzo's antics, it had been a pleasant meal, but soon after Ziva departed a napkin landed on the table as Tim announced that he was going to head back too. He looked like he had had more than enough of Tony and Ducky was so hoping the afternoon would go better for the younger agent than lunch had. Abby looked thoughtfully at Tim and just for a moment Ducky thought she might go with him. She'd finished her sandwich, but still had several bites of potato salad on the paper plate and he watched as she jabbed the plastic fork in just as Tim stood up.

DiNozzo stuffed two large salty chips into his mouth on top of the bite of sandwich already there and after a couple of loud crunches he asked Tim, "What's your hurry?"

End of part 2

* * *

><p>Thank you for reading.<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

**Extra special thanks goes to NCISgurl805 for providing my one and only review up to this point. Thank you, thank you, thank you. You made me smile. :)**

* * *

><p>Part 3<p>

DiNozzo stuffed two large salty chips into his mouth on top of the bite of sandwich already there and after a couple of loud crunches he asked Tim, "What's your hurry?" At least that's what it was supposed to be, but coming from a mouthful of food it could have been interpreted as almost anything.

Whether he understood the words or not, Tim winced at Tony's tone, but didn't reply in the same way. He was not going to be baited this time and Ducky saw him mature a little more in that instant as he stood looking at the more senior field agent. There certainly was some ammunition with Tony's sweaty brow and damp shirt which had been stained with a small dollop of mayo. Instead of acting like DiNozzo, Tim cordially responded, "I got back later than expected from the dentist yesterday. I want to be on time or early today."

Ducky smiled and silently agreed that they should all be on time. The director had already read them the riot act about budget cuts citing locked office supply cabinets, shortest possible routes to and from crime scenes and rigid accountability for gloves, cotton swabs, plastic bags and luminal, among other things. Time management would certainly be on the agenda for the next employee meeting the following Monday. Ducky was fine in that respect. Autopsies took what they took and while it might seem to some that he talked a lot, he also worked a lot. And he had always been rather frugal with supplies and was teaching Jimmy the same. The ME hated paperwork, but accepted that it was an important component of his job. He also hated inventory, but supplies had been known to mysteriously disappear and was yet another reason why all the cupboards and cabinets were now kept locked.

Abby didn't finish her potato salad. Instead she gently wiped her mouth with a napkin and stood up to go with Tim. "See you guys later," she quipped as the two headed for the swing gate leading to the sidewalk.

Ducky was secretly glad that she was leaving with McGee, feeling that both of them had endured quite enough. In addition to the rude remarks there had been smirking and sneering from DiNozzo and everybody needed a break from the man and his annoying ways. Ducky could have used a break too, but he decided to stay the course and hoped if Tony was insufferable anytime during the afternoon that Gibbs would put a quick halt to the behavior.

DiNozzo had been worse than ever this day and Ducky wondered if he needed to take the man aside and counsel him again. Surely it had nothing or little to do with young Erica or Director Vance. Perhaps something else had happened. Well, he would find out in short order if Tony's behavior didn't straighten out.

The older man had just finished chewing when suddenly Abby was back at the table to gather up her trash and Tim's too.

Ducky assured her. "We'd have done that for you, my dear."

Abby grinned at the ME. "I know _you_ would have, Ducky."

Tony looked miffed that she didn't think he would have policed the trash, but without Ducky there to do it she was probably right. He would have just left everything as it was, deciding that the service people needed to earn their meager salaries. He was so glad he had a decent job, a career even that came with a badge and a gun. Yea, being a federal agent was pretty sweet. Now he just needed his own team. He'd take Ziva and McGee as he had before. And maybe they'd leave it a three person team. After all EJ's team was only three so why did Gibbs have four? DiNozzo decided in the future it would be three. The whole thing was made for television, it was perfect. Parallel NCIS teams led by two very special agents who were also sleeping together. They worked together and they played together. Hmm, it was something to think about after sex with EJ when she'd gone to sleep and he stayed awake for hours.

Ducky knew DiNozzo leaving the trash was the truth, but he didn't say anything else about it. After Abby deposited the paper bundle into the waste receptacle, she was once again at Tim's side and they began their walk back to work. Ducky finished his small cup of water before telling Tony that they should go too. He crushed his own trash into a tight package and then placed two one dollar bills under the salt and pepper shakers in the center of the table. Tony had tipped his chair onto the back legs and was chomping on another few chips when Ducky told him, "That's for our server, Anthony."

Server was accurate as far as the person who brought their food to them, but that was all. They ordered at the counter and paid at the counter and only got served if they were eating their food there at the deli. A little red plastic placard with white numbers placed at the edge of the table told the server which order number was theirs and their food was delivered to them. Today their table had had five signs as the server had delivered five orders for the five people. She'd brought trays with food and drinks and she'd made sure they had straws, forks and spoons, plastic though they were, and she had even been generous with napkins, though Tony had made a face when she plopped a short stack in front of him. After the patrons finished eating and departed, the servers cleared the remaining trash, wiped down the tables and pushed in the chairs. In the case of really messy people, they brought out a broom and dust pan and sometimes a bucket and mop.

Tony attempted to look innocent at Ducky's comment about the money, but it was a very poor acting job. And it was a lost cause too because Ducky knew that Tony figured on pocketing an easy couple of bucks as soon as his back was turned. DiNozzo sometimes forgot how predictable he could be, especially with someone like Ducky, who found him pretty easy to read. Before Tony could form a reply to Ducky, or not, the server was there to pick up the tip and begin to wipe down the table.

"Hey, I'm still eating here," DiNozzo growled. In a test of wills he noticed her scrutinizing him and not in a good way, and being ever self conscious about his appearance he quickly wiped the sweat from his face with a swipe of a paper napkin.

"Sorry," she replied sweetly. Her big smile was for Ducky and he was pleased that she hadn't given much attention to the younger man, who craved attention, especially from women much younger than himself. "I thought you'd be leaving right now too." DiNozzo didn't respond. He just looked at Ducky who was looking at the young woman who was smiling at him. Now what in the world did she see in the ME that made her smile like that?

"No, I'm not leaving," Tony groused. He tossed a napkin onto the table right where she had wiped it down and then purposely grabbed his plate and cup to keep her from taking them. Glaring at Ducky more than at her he announced, "In fact, I think I'll have dessert and a drink refill."

End of part 3

* * *

><p>Thanks for reading.<p> 


	4. Chapter 4

**Special thanks to NCISgurl805 for a second review and also to NCIS Connection, DS2010 and John for their reviews. I appreciate each of you so very much. :)  
><strong>I also received two more private messages with flames. They say I hate the NCIS characters. One even said I have defiled the characters and the whole series. I don't know why these people chose to write to me rather than submit a review but it's okay. I wanted feedback and feedback I got.

I would like to say that this is the fan fiction world and many stories have been written that are far worse than this little thing. I know because I've read some of them. If you don't like what I have written then please skip it and read something else. If you've had a problem with the first three chapters then you will most certainly have a problem with what's coming so spare yourself and stop right now. To those willing to keep reading, thanks. :)

* * *

><p>Part 4<p>

The server had seen the others leave and knew she should get to the table as quickly as possible. They usually included her tip when they used their debit cards to pay, but the older man, the doctor that everyone called Ducky, always paid cash and always left a generous cash tip for her. He didn't come to the deli often, but she remembered his politeness, generosity and gentle smile. It had been hard for her since the new owners took over and cut her hours, but she had finally won them over with her work ethic and customer service. Many of the returning customers asked for her so they could sit at the tables she was in charge of and this day Ducky had done just that.

The other man, the one who constantly flirted and had an ego the size of Baltimore, sometimes paid with cash, sometimes with a debit or credit card and sometimes one of the others with him paid for his meal when he apparently didn't have any money or left his wallet at the office or something. One thing he never did was to include a tip or leave one on the table. He was not alone in that, but he was in the minority and for that she was grateful. A tip of fifty cents every other order from 10:30 until 2:00 added up and helped pay her heating bill in the winter.

DiNozzo'a plate and cup were back on the table when the server smiled at Ducky. It reached all the way to her eyes and seemed to ask 'why can't he be more like you?'

Ducky accepted Tony's irritating behavior and putting it aside for the moment smiled back at the girl. He had always liked her and was glad she'd been kept on by the new owners. In his most charming voice Ducky told her, "I hope you have a wonderful afternoon, my dear." And then he pressed another dollar bill into her hand. "Anthony?" Seeing a minute shake of the younger man's head told the ME that stubbornness had set in so he left him there to sulk alone and left the deli patio.

He was feeling good and walking briskly when he noticed he was only about 15 yards behind Abby and Tim. They were obviously taking their time and enjoying each other's company and Ducky was happy about that. The two deserved to have good friends and he smiled to himself as people rushed by him on both sides. Some were walking faster and others were almost running in their quests to get wherever they were going and he hiked along doing his best to avoid collisions. The street was filled with vehicles as cars pulled away from curbs and others eased in immediately to capture the few spaces available and he was glad he'd left his Morgan in the parking lot. Too many people were driving too fast and recklessly, which of course was pretty normal for Washington, DC.

Tony sat at the table alone, but only for a few seconds. He'd watched Ducky leave and not being serious about ordering dessert, he knew he should be going too. Plus he didn't like the server. Oh he didn't hate her, he just didn't like her. It was because she didn't seem to like him and in DiNozzo's world that meant that there was something wrong with her. He knew he hadn't been the nicest person during lunch, but that was because he hadn't been alone with Ziva. Lunch was supposed to be Tony and Ziva, Ziva and Tony. Not Tony, Ziva, McGee, Abby and Ducky. Tony still almost couldn't believe how everyone had invited someone else to lunch and hadn't said a word to him about it. Ziva started it and Tony couldn't figure out why she'd done what she'd done. Life just wasn't fair sometimes. Maybe he'd get a chance to ask her later on without anybody else eavesdropping. The bullpen wasn't good for privacy but there were other places he could catch her and confront her. He stepped onto the sidewalk and immediately felt the loss of shade from the tree. He squinted and could see Ducky ahead of him along with lots of other people, but Tony didn't have any intention of catching up. No, it was best to just think about things by himself for a few minutes because he certainly wouldn't have any alone time for the rest of the afternoon.

Ducky stepped to the edge of the walkway and looked ahead as far as his aged eyes would allow and wondered if he'd have enough time to stop and get coffee for Jethro. The Starbucks was busy every hour of every day, but somehow Gibbs always timed it so there wasn't a long line when he wanted coffee. Ducky on the other hand seemed to always find a long line and it was one of the reasons he let his friend fetch his own brew. And of course being downstairs he seldom knew when Jethro needed coffee. Thinking about coffee and Gibbs occupied his mind until a few seconds later he heard an explosion from somewhere nearby and it froze his feet in place on the concrete sidewalk.

Everything around him stopped too. Not for long but in those few seconds right after the blast, time, motion and space didn't exist. With silence all around him Ducky waited, but what was he waiting for? Was he in shock? His feet were still planted, but he turned his head and looked in the direction that he thought the explosion had come from and there he saw pandemonium and with it his hearing returned in full force. Car alarms were blaring from every direction. People were yelling, His other senses caught up quickly as an acrid smell filled the air and thick black smoke billowed into the sky barely a block or maybe two away from him on New Jersey Street.

Abby and Tim turned at the loud noise behind them. Whatever it was had interrupted their easy conversation and they stood and watched the people around them. Everyone reacted the same way. Suddenly they snapped out of shock and together began running back to their friends that had stayed at the deli.

For far too many seconds Tony stood transfixed as total silence hung in the air around him. Wondering what could have happened, he found himself standing still and just staring like everyone else around him. He didn't know how long he'd remained immobile, but it was long enough for Tim and Abby to have made their way back to Ducky's position on the sidewalk and suddenly he was pulling out his phone and running toward them.

"Ducky, are you alright?" At the sound of Abby's voice Ducky's head jerked in her direction. "I'm fine," he verified and then seeing they were fine too he announced, "Come you two, there may be people hurt."

Abby was quickly by Ducky's side as they prepared to cross M street in the middle of the block. Tim had recovered enough to pull out his phone and dial 911 but the call wouldn't go through and he stabbed at the end button before trying it again. People were running along the sidewalks and crossing the street at odd angles, trying to get to someplace else. Others looking confused and concerned wandered out from businesses to see what had happened. Abby and Ducky made it across the street without incident with Tim not far behind and then Tony was there, pushing past him and grumbling about all circuits being busy.

"911 won't go through," Tim shouted over the jumbled noises of alarms and shouting. He was rushing right behind Tony who was hot on the heels of Abby and Ducky.

"I can't get a call out to anyone either," Tony yelled. "The system is either overloaded or something has happened to the cell tower."

End of Part 4

* * *

><p>Thanks for reading.<p> 


End file.
